Moving forward

Worked for the last couple of nights. Off tonight. Glad of that, since I seem to have a virus.

Riding the bus has required me to spend at least 2 hours each direction for transportation. That's resulted in 17-18 hour days.

May have to get used to that for a while. Even if I get the van running (try tomorrow), it will be repossessed sometime in the future. Not sure when.

Talked to a lawyer few days back. Decided chapter 7 is the best option. Before filing, have to get a few things in order. Have to get the retaining fee to the lawyer as soon as possible. Until then, he advised changing my bank account (done) and to just stop paying on certain bills. By declaring chapter 7, my costs will drop by as much as $700 a month. Already seeing some results from that but not too much.

Started looking into apprenticeship programs for electricians. It's a 4-5 year program but since you earn while doing it, it's realistic. Requested applications from two local programs.

Talking to other nurses over the last couple of nights gave me final confirmation of just how correct my decision is. While I am preparing to declare bankruptcy, I have heard from other agency nurses telling me how they have had little income for several months, as well. Yet staff nurses tell me how the hospital has been full and they have been grossly understaffed. ER nurses tell me how unqualified, inexperienced nurses have been floated to work ER, while I'm told they only want RN's (new nurse manager decision, overridden once this week).

Even after 17 years, I still love nursing but can no longer balance barely surviving, power struggles, politics and profits being placed so severely over patient care. Time to move on.

I did not make any New Year resolutions but this year is going to be one of major change in my life.