With all that's been going on, I have by no means gone by the assumption that I will get out of this with the house and van. Fact is, I've been going through all the stages of grief and loss. Denial, anger, depression, acceptance and bargaining. Of course, acceptance comes last. I mention bargaining last for a reason but I'll get back to that.

I'm not completely in acceptance but nearly so. At least enough that it won't be so devastating if things go the way they seem headed.

Bargaining is typically the shortest stage for me. For one thing, it's never worked in the past. For another, while not the greatest person on earth, I've always had aspirations of good intent. As far back as when I was 3 years old, I wanted to save the world somehow. It's taken various incarnations. Just the current one has been working on methods of farming in arid environments and generating electricity more affordably. Things to help as many people as possible. So, what's to bargain with? I'm not a drunk, don't do drugs, not a liar, not a thief, not a womanizer.. What's left to bargain with? I've been a nurse for 17 years, trying to help those in need. Seems things always rise up to get in my way.

I will say that if I lose the house, some of my dreams and goals will be postponed. May be slowed on others. However, I will keep working on things. Not going to be stopped.