Stress relief

Ex said daughter was up much of the night coughing and stayed in bed late this morning. Cleared up later and was apparently okay.

I tend to wonder if she would be better off living at a lower elevation. Moot point but thin of higher elevations aren't a great mixture with respiratory problems.

I had promised her I would try to quit smoking. Attempt last week failed but I promised myself to quit by Christmas. So I'm on my last pack now.

Finances are still a bigger stressor than I can impress. Had the urge to do something physically involved to relieve the stress. Mix that with the knowledge of just how much clay is below the surface of the garden and the fact that the ground is supersaturated from rain and snow. So got out and turned the soil in nearly half the bare section of soil with a garden fork. Did this to a depth of about 12", then hoed in leaves and some of the unfinished composting leaves. They'll keep composting underground. Also pulled back the plastic and turned much of the soil in the main garden to allow more oxygen into the soil. Wound up working so much I wore holes in my hands.

Not that it matters. May not have the house until spring. Hope if someone else buys the house that they enjoy gardening.

Been a strange year. With the generator situation, don't want to keep it running all night, so I go to bed rather early for me. Then had a job for a while which had me up really early. So I've been awake during the day more this year than for the past 20 years.

Keep watching my life go through a slow decline. Wonder what the heck I have to learn? By rules of karma, if you keep having the same problems you have a lesson to learn from it. I've thought, prayed and meditated. No clue.