Cleared!

Got a call around 7:30. The hospital asking me to work..on med/surg, the unit I was banned from last week. The agency (old one) knew about this and asked about it. Turns out the people who put me in a corner talked about it. I'm cleared to work there again. They said they felt bad about the confrontation. Somehow, I have trouble believing that. More likely they actually wound up reading the patient's chart, talking to the urologist or finding out something about my assessment was correct. No matter. I'm just happy my name is cleared.

However, from here on I will be playing "stupid private". I will do what I am told, how I am told as long as the patient is not placed at risk. If I'm expected to do something which I have not done AT THAT FACILITY before, I will ask for written protocol on how they want it done. If not provided a protocol in writing and at any time I feel a patient is placed at risk, I will refuse to do it at all. I will not leave my back open to another blade. I've always been willing to take a bullet for the sake of my patients. Not any more. I will not knowingly place a patient at risk. Ever. I will not become apathetic. Ever. I care. That's why I'm a nurse, that's why I've always been a nurse.

I turned down the shift tonight. By the time they called, I had already had one bourbon. Figured it would help me relax. Obviously, they scheduled someone less reliable who never showed up. Strange how often that happens here. It's enough my name has been cleared.

I'm still going to be looking for a more stable, less critical position. Going to step up the search beginning tomorrow. Tonight I'm just breathing a sigh of relief.